About the Author: Barbara Ann Sharon, Chief Learning Officer shares her thoughts on the challenges people face with Generous Listening.
If you have been reading this month, you realize that my focused topic was on Generous Listening. This type of listening is beyond the highest level of listening. It is beyond active listening. Generous listening is the kind of listening where a person is giving and truly seeking to understand. It is moving beyond responses to learn something new or maybe something that you didn’t know before. Sounds easy? No. Of course not. Generous listening is difficult and challenging. It is about putting what you’ve learned over the course of your lifetime aside to explore a new level that you may not have realized was even there.
Now that I am a faithful and generous listener, I can attest that I never knew about it until I did. I can also attest that it is powerful and giving. When you become a generous listener, you can’t imagine why it wasn’t so obvious before. Now notice that I didn’t say that it was easy or that a person can’t slip away from being a generous listener. You can. Let’s explore the challenges of generous listening. Generous listening, while highly rewarding, can be challenging due to various internal and external factors.
Here are some common challenges:
Internal Distractions:
It can be difficult to focus fully on the speaker when your mind is preoccupied with personal worries, to-do lists, or other concerns. Give yourself “permission” to engage and to not be distracted. Managing these distractions requires conscious effort to stay present in the moment and prioritize the conversation. Tell yourself, “This is important” or “I am here to learn something new.”
Emotional Reactions:
Hearing something that triggers strong emotions—such as frustration, disagreement, or defensiveness—can make it hard to listen objectively. These reactions may tempt you to interrupt, argue, or shut down the conversation prematurely. We have all heard that negative emotions are best served when deflated. By listening, you allow your body and reactions to reduce so that when you do respond, you will be more composed.
Biases and Assumptions:
Unconscious biases or preconceived notions about the speaker or the topic can cloud your ability to listen openly. These mental shortcuts may lead you to judge or dismiss the speaker’s perspective before fully understanding it. Listening well may help you to see another point of view or better understand the person’s perspective.
Desire to Respond Quickly:
Many people feel the need to immediately contribute their own thoughts, advice, or solutions. This urge can cause you to focus more on formulating your response rather than fully absorbing what the speaker is saying. By listening, you are gifting the other person the chance to fully explain and to be heard. By allowing the speaker to finish, you can then ask questions to better understand, or you can simply ask for what they are looking.
Time Constraints and Multitasking:
In fast-paced environments, finding the time and attention to engage in generous listening can be difficult. The pressure to multitask or rush through conversations may prevent deep, meaningful engagement. Yes. Time will always be a challenge. What I tend to experience is that if I allow those few extra minutes to grasp what is being said, it prevents me from making mistakes or having to go back a second time to better understand. What’s that phrase, penny wise -pound foolish? This phrase is meant to describe something that is done to save a small amount of money now but that will cost a large amount of money in the future. Let’s flip that! Spending a small amount of time upfront can be a great savings later.
Overcoming these challenges involves self-awareness, patience, and a commitment to fostering meaningful communication. By practicing mindfulness, managing emotional responses, and prioritizing empathy, you can enhance your ability to listen generously, even in difficult circumstances. Generous listening can be a challenge initially to learn but a gift that will be long-time rewarded.
Ready to bring Generous Listening to your organization? Contact us today for more information at info@trainingedge.com or call 610.454.1557
Comments